Thursday, December 8, 2011

Four Signs That Show Your Addiction

Hello to all Facebook Users,

Did you get your doze today?

I am one of you. And I got addicted three years ago. First it was just a web page. Now it is a must-do ritual that starts in the morning, ends at night and continues while I try to get some sleep.  

Most of you are trying to decide whether they are addicted to facebook or not.
Let me share 4 signs that will help you while decision making:

Sign 1

Your Profile Photos

You take photos and the next thing you know they are added to your facebook profile. Almost any event is an opportunity to add your photos. You rush to publish the pictures of you in the weird positions, doing silly faces and having silly clothing on because it will look cool in your profile. (According to you of course). You started taking photos in toilets, bathrooms, restaurants, buses.

I get to see photos of people in the car, on the car, behind the car, in front of the car. Usually these cars belong to some other people but it is so cool to have a photo with that BMW that you will never own or a plastic made Jenifer Lopez that you will never get to touch in real time. 

If your facebook profile is an archive of photos starting from your early childhood and ending with your photo next to that funny looking Mickey Mouse you better go and see a doctor. Your addiction has reached a dangerous phase and it needs immediate attention of experts.

I am not talking about shoes from Prada worth 1000 $ in a profile picture. May be that person is hoping that one of the viewers will buy them for her or even him......crazy!!!

Sign 2

Your Wall Posts and Updates

Suddenly you start posting almost everything that is on your mind even if there is nothing on it. Lately you start writing "hmmm..." "ufffff..."  "heeeyyyy is anybody there..." kind of posts as if you are left alone in this whole planet and there is no one to talk to. You suddenly feel obliged to update your status every 10 minutes so that people know you are safe and you still exist. 

If you are listening to music, we will know it. If you are thinking about food, we will know it. If life sucks for you, we sure will know it. Where does this feeling of letting everyone know come from. Either you were a celebrity in your previous life or you are trying to be one right now.

We see posts from enthusiasts that let us know if it rains today, if it snows today or if today is sunny. They might think that we are too busy to open the windows and see it right forward for ourselves.

Airlines and hotels pay millions of dollars to GPS navigation systems and still you feel an extreme need to post about your geographical status any place you are. If you are in Paris right now it is wonderful but please take time to go and walk around the streets of this beautiful city instead of sitting in that Internet cafe and typing this silly post.

I still thank God that there are no posts such as "I am finishing the climb on to Everest...let me just grab that rocky place..." or "I am getting married but let me say Yes to this man..."

Or is it a matter of time. No one knows.

Sign 3

You started SHARING with others

Something happened to you after using facebook. You got some kind of revelation from the skies.

Once you were so greedy that you did not share your money, your car, your girlfriend or boyfriend. But now even Jesus is jealous of your passion for sharing with others. You share those funny pictures, silly comments, and endless number of YouTube videos with everyone around.

I get to see people sharing the common grief about an African singer that they never heard before and who is said to be dead after an accident that never happened. First they share that message. Then they learn that it was not true and they share the opposite message. Then someone shares a video about African World Cup that makes no sense but is ok in a facebook sense.

If you shared at least 3 comments, proverbs, videos or photos before reading this article you have some serious issues about being too generous with people. I can already see your anxiety to share this very article with your friends.

Well go on and make your shot :)

Sign 4

Your Weird Relationship with LIKE button 

Once it was LOVE and it is LIKE now. I wonder which word today describes the passion much stronger. I believe Zuckerberg did not estimate the impact of the word that he put on the button. In fact he messed up with our preferences in relationship.

If you find out that you have an intimate relationship with this button do not be scared. You are not alone in this club of virtual perverts that abuse the button anytime they get a chance.

You started to LIKE everyone, everything and everywhere. What a great person you are! So much of likes in you to share with whole world. You even like love and that scares you a bit. 

Not to mention those that like you. And who is this guy from Guatemala that likes my status and wants me to like his? Is he my friend? NO! Do I know him? NO! Do we have a common friend? NOT POSSIBLE!

Never mind I am starting to like his like about my POST and MY STATUS. I can live with the fact that my status is famous even in Guatemala.

If you find out that you LIKE Barcelona FC, Stop AIDS in Africa Project, Mercedes Benz, Rolex, Beyonce and you discovered all of these feelings in you after facebook then I congratulate you! You are one of US!

Yours always updated,